


The View Below

by OverthinkingFeathers



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age II
Genre: Background Kanders, Background Karl Thekla, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 15:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9332225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverthinkingFeathers/pseuds/OverthinkingFeathers
Summary: A quick fiction about the view of the Waking Sea from Anders's clinic and the different feelings it evokes based on his emotional and mental state.





	

He chooses the space for the windows.

They're wide and open, looking out to the sea below. Anders stands on the ledge and grins, watches the ships pass in and out of the city. The breeze ruffles the feathers of his pauldrons, like it's encouraging him to fly, and he spreads his arms out to catch it. He feels like he could soar. He's only been in Kirkwall for two days, and he already knows the city is shit, but right now, it's his favorite place in the world.

He watches the ships and imagines what it will look like when he and Karl are on one. He's not sure where they'll go yet - maybe Antiva or Tevinter, they'll have to talk about it - but he knows they're not meant to stay in the City of Chains.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

He can't bring himself to leave.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once, when Anders was swimming across Lake Calenhad, he thought he would drown. The water was calm that day, easy enough for an impulsive boy to cut through. Still, the lake was wide. He was too far to hear the yelling from the shore when his legs began to falter, and he slipped under the water twice before staggering on to dry land. The panic and helplessness is seared in his memory.

The Waking Sea is rough and, if followed correctly, endless. He doubts he would even be able to make it as far as he did in Lake Calenhad. He knows he wouldn't be able to go on forever.

Every time he looks, he wants to try.

He won't, of course. There are too many patients, too many mages imprisoned, too many words to write. He can't afford the luxury of dreaming. Still, occasionally he catches a glimpse out the window, and he's filled with a longing he'll never articulate.

Some part of him is relieved when winter forces him to cover up that wall.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Justice likes the view. It takes Anders longer to realize this than he should, but he hasn't been paying attention. _Justice and I are one_ , he tells people, and that's partially true. When they're united, they're inseparable, thoughts and feelings so in sync that it feels like they've always been this way. When they're not, it feels like the ends of him are frayed. Here are the parts of Anders, here are the parts of Justice, and here is the tangle of both.

Most of the time, he only notices the negative. The transition has not been easy on them, and Anders thinks they both sometimes resent the disagreements. He tries not to blame himself.

So when the weather warms up and the patients slow down, it seems only natural that he gravitate towards the windows. The breeze pushes out any trace of sickness, replacing it with fresh air and a hint of salt, and the sun warms his skin. It's a good place to work on his manifesto.

He doesn't notice how peaceful he's been until a ship passes by, and he realizes he hasn't written a word in half an hour. There's been no disapproval, no frantic sense that he's running out of time. Just calm and whole. Without anger, he's always been divided. This, it seems, is something they can both appreciate.

He stretches, watches the ship until it disappears over the horizon.

He's broken mages out of the Gallows, and it's safer for him not to know where they go after that. In all likelihood, there are no apostates smuggled on board that particular boat, finally free the city that would break them. He imagines it anyway.


End file.
